And ultimately, they're proof that we, like 15 percent of Americans , use technology to find love. That stigma, prevalent in many immigrant communities, also applies to meeting people online, which is generally viewed by some as desperate. But as more people sign up for these apps, that notion is being challenged, says Muzmatch CEO and founder Shahzad Younas. Even the word "dating" is contentious among Muslims. Especially for those from my parents' generation, it carries a negative connotation and pits Islamic ideals about intimacy against Western cultural norms.
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But for others, it's merely a term for getting to know someone and finding out if you're a match. As with all faiths, people follow more liberal or conservative rules around dating depending on how they interpret religious doctrines and what they choose to practice. There are, of course, similarities between Muslim and mainstream dating apps like Tinder , OkCupid and Match. All have their fair share of quirky bios, pictures of guys in muscle shirts and awkward conversations about what we do for a living.
But a few features -- including one that lets "chaperones" peek at your messages -- make Muslim-catered apps stand out. In February, I finally decided to check out Minder for myself. As someone in my mid-twenties, I'm essentially a prime target for dating apps , yet this was my first time trying one. I'd always been hesitant to put myself out there and didn't have much faith I'd meet anyone worthwhile.
Minder, which launched in , has had over , sign-ups, the company says.
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Haroon Mokhtarzada, the CEO, says he was inspired to create the app after meeting several "well educated, highly eligible" Muslim women who struggled to find the right guy to marry. He felt technology could help by connecting people who might be geographically scattered. When creating my profile, I was asked to indicate my level of religiosity on a sliding scale, from "Not practicing" to "Very religious. I indicated my family origin my parents immigrated to the US from Iraq in ; languages spoken English, Arabic ; and education level, then filled in the "About me" section.
You can even choose to indicate how soon you want to get married, but I opted to leave that blank. Who even knows? These details can, for better or worse, become the focus of potential relationships. A Sunni may only want to be with another Sunni. Someone who's less religious may not be able to relate to someone with more strict interpretations of the faith. One person on the app might be looking for something more casual, while another might be seeking a serious relationship that leads to marriage.
I started to swipe. A lot. There were some decent candidates, but it didn't take long to realize why my friends had such little success on these kinds of apps. Guys had a tendency to post selfies with weird Snapchat puppy filters and pictures of their cars, and there was an odd abundance of photos with tigers.
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Several "About me" sections just said "Ask me. I did get a kick out of some of the lines in the bios, like: "Trying to avoid an arranged marriage to my cousin," "Misspelled Tinder on the app store and, well, here we are," and, "My mother manages this profile. My personal favorite: "I have Amazon Prime.
My friend Diana Demchenko, who is also Muslim, downloaded the app with me as we sat on my couch one Saturday evening, and she managed to stay on it a grand total of 30 hours before deleting it. She was overwhelmed by how many people you can swipe through without even noticing. Some people have found success, of course. Three years ago, after a tough breakup, year-old Saba Azizi-Ghannad of New York started to feel hopeless. She was busy with medical school and not meeting a lot of people.
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Then a friend told her about Minder. Suddenly, she was connecting with people across the country.
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She eventually matched with Hadi Shirmohamadali, 31, from California. The pair pictured at the top of this story talked on FaceTime every day. Around six weeks later, they met in person for dinner in New York City. After about four months of occasional meetings, their parents met.
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Muzmatch is another popular app among Muslims. Founded in , it reached a million members this year. Muzmatch asks you to share information like when you want to get married, whether you drink or smoke, and how often you pray. A few features set the app apart from Minder.
Beyond Tinder: How Muslim millennials are looking for love
For one, you can see if a person has swiped right on you, which is slightly horrifying but also somewhat helpful. Apps like Hinge also include this feature, while others including Minder will tell you who's liked you if you pay for a premium subscription. I did feel like I was more likely to swipe right on someone who showed interest in me if I'd been on the fence about them before. Muzmatch CEO Shahzad Younas says he opted to include that level of transparency because the app is designed for people who are more serious about finding a partner.
That's great until you start seeing people on the app you know in real life, which happens often in a place like the San Francisco Bay Area, where social circles often overlap. That, my friends, is when I decided to tap out. No need to stir up drama or make things uncomfortable. The app also lets "chaperones" monitor your messages. People who aren't comfortable having one-on-one conversations with random people online can invite a family member or friend to follow their chats and make sure all's good.
Everyone in the conversation is aware another person can read the messages. As strange as it may sound to willingly have a third person read your texts, it could help ease someone onto the platform if they follow more conservative guidelines about who they can talk to. Civil rights attorney Zahra Billoo says features catered to Muslims, such as one that asks how often you pray, help her narrow down candidates on dating apps like Minder and Muzmatch. Pick and choose what's important to you. Otherwise the related wikipedia article.
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