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So they just work, hang out with friends and travel with friends. I think that they have to accept what I like. So I could just date, and I informed them, and they were happy whenever I had someone. But I was quite picky, so it never worked out. Like I would date someone for only one week, two weeks, three weeks, one month max. Because for me, if I was not happy I just broke up, or the other way around. I have so many drama dating stories! Most of them are Vietnamese. The way I think about life, the way I think about passion, about jobs, about money.

My longest relationship was two years, and we broke up, of course, for many reasons. But when I do something, I want to do it with my passion. And I want to live with my passion. Yeah, she wanted it in the opposite way. Many Vietnamese girls want a stable life. They just want to get married, taking care of their husband, have kids, and go to work every day. Life should be more interesting.

Go out and see the world and see what you can do. You just need to be beautiful. You just need to take care of yourself and you just have to have a good outlook and then just date with a rich guy and his family or he is going to take care of you. How do you think the fact that they need to think about money will affect the way they treat a boyfriend?

There are advantages and disadvantages. To me, there are two types of girls.

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They are not confident at all. Sometimes they are confident about their looks. They can dress well and they can go shopping and they can laugh, they are confident in their beauty. But inside, their core values, they are not confident. Why do you think some people become pretty but insecure, while others become independent and secure? The way they were educated in the past, when they were kids. Some families, they have a very modern, a very Western mindset. They try to teach their daughters that no matter what they do when you grow up, you have to be independent. You have to be happy with yourself.

Especially in the countryside. Very easy to understand! If you live in a society that produces the kind of woman, they also produce the kind of man who fits the kind of woman. In Vietnam, a man who has property and money, they will love to have a woman who they can control. They want to control everything in their family. I have the answer! And I feel so sorry because, do you remember, I only care about the first group of girls, who are independent, confident.


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And I think these kinds of girls will love to date foreigners. Because foreign guys become independent earlier than Vietnamese guys. They have to learn how to live alone and love themselves before they love somebody else. And this is cool to the modern girls who want a similar life. I can tell. I have to say, I admire them. They are cool, really cool. And some foreign guys know that they are valuable, more valuable than Vietnamese guys in Vietnam, and they take advantage of it. But for the other cool guys, they know how to respect women.

And when foreign guys know how to deal with those sorts of things, Vietnamese girls have no reason to break up.

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And people like that, who treat each other fairly, they can have a really great relationship. Oh god, this is so personal! It was just such a change. You feel that Western men just look straight through you. Barely even make eye contact. So I guess I tried to put other things first. Does that make sense?

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Yeah, with sporadic moments of absolute boredom because of that situation. But I actually did come here to escape men in a lot of ways. It just kind of backfired. And a male. Look, I get a certain level of respect for being a Western person. No one. So, if you get one girl today, you get another one tomorrow. And they know that. And they take full advantage of it. It seems like dating a foreigner is a completely different experience for a woman than dating a Vietnamese man. So, dating a white man gives you a higher social status in this country.

Box ticked! Oh, god no. Because the woman is kind of like the caretaker of the family. And they know that a Western girl is probably not going to do it. Do you think just by the virtue of being here white men are somehow implicit in this dating culture? I have only one white friend. Because I just find… I get so angry.

Listening to how [white guys] treat the staff. With complete disregard and disrespect. Because they know they can, because no one will hold it up on them. I kind of understand them. A lot of Vietnamese women are quite independent and strong and will stand up for themselves, though.

Where do they fit in this whole paradigm?

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I had a friend Simon, and he always had really well-educated, hardworking women… Fantastic! But he was a really different kind of guy. Girls are more suspicious of guys and not so easy to approach. Its different in Vietnam; I find it easier to approach someone just for a drink or a dinner. I came in Vietnam for the first time in , for a week of holiday.

At that time I was studying Mandarin in Shanghai. I really loved [Vietnam], the people, so I decided to come back to here six months later for an internship in January First, I have to say that Vietnamese girls are very beautiful — they got something. Past the physical appearance, they are really easy to hang out with: curious, always happy to try new food, to learn english, to discover new places. And they are really nice. When you meet girls here, do you usually approach them, or do they approach you?

I approach them. Even if I only try to make friends. Yeah, I think so. Find out more about how your privacy is protected. Multiple Dates. Actions and Detail Panel.