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Unwed Mothers Were Shamed And Coerced Into Giving Up Their Infants
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In age: Hi! See more. Lynn and David. Andrew and Cheryl. Wendy and Rob. Sofia and Will. That was their penalty and their life sentence, one of shame and silence.
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They were told to forget about the baby, reform their lives and hope to marry a decent man. And as such, the growing adoption market continued to be flush with newborns. Because of the societal shaming of having a child outside of wedlock, many women were shunned. In desperation, they turned to so-called homes for unwed mothers where they gave birth to their children.
Unfortunately, most of those children were taken from their mothers, who were not counseled on their rights as parents, and put up for adoption. In exchange for this secrecy, the mother would perform housecleaning, cooking and childcare for the married couple in their private homes until she was placed in a residential maternity home where she eventually gave birth. The women were seldom paid and frequently treated like servants.
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In the maternity homes, unwed mothers were subjected to a sort of brainwashing , if you will, so they would surrender their children to adoption. Among the tactics employed were keeping the women ignorant of the birthing process and federal services and aid available to her; prohibiting them from communicating with family and friends; and subjecting them to emotional abuse if they argued against having their child given up for adoption. Nearly 4 million unwed American mothers gave up or were coerced into giving up their children during this time and again the fathers were not acknowledged or even recognized.
Lois Tochtrop , a former Colorado state senator, worked in a hospital where unwed mothers were placed for childbirth. Her description of their treatment in the s is as follows:. There was no joy of a woman having a family interaction.
Many times, nobody ever came to visit them. The only time she saw it would be when a social worker brought the baby in so the mother could say goodbye before they took it away to be adopted. This experience, unfortunately, was quite common and resulted in many children seeking their biological mothers in later years. Unless the mother was alive and remembered him, the identity of the biological father was unknown and that relationship nonexistent.
This column serves only a slice of the injustices single parents have endured. Knowing that we have the choice to raise our children is not one that should be taken for granted. On Thursdays, I will be sharing a blog about a day in the actual life of a single parent. Every fourth Thursday, instead of a personal post, I will put together one where I assemble news on and about single parents nationally and globally. I would love to hear from you! Feel free to send any comments and questions to me at singleparentandstrong gmail.
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